What Is BPD Splitting?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition, and splitting is a symptom that underlines an unconscious coping or defence mechanism for managing challenging situations. Splitting behaviour interferes with people’s daily lives, relationships, and the individual’s sense of well-being.
The splitting behaviour varies between two extremes:
- Devaluation – emphasising the negative qualities of some situation or a specific person
- Idealisation – emphasising the positive qualities of a situation or a person
The conflict of emotions for people with splitting episodes results in polarising behaviour and seeing people as only good or bad or right or wrong instead of as complex, individual human beings with many positive and negative characteristics. For example, a person with BPD may see their friends or family members as an inherently bad person one day and the best person in the world the next day.
Sometimes, splitting can be easily noticeable, but in other cases, the splitting behavior can be internalised or entirely silent. The key to understanding is analysing and noticing the symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
Symptoms of BPD Splitting
The symptoms of BPD Splitting involve intense shifts in emotions and perceptions. For some, a quick alternation between devaluation and idealisation can lead to rapid mood swings, impulsive behaviour and difficulties managing relationships. The rapid shifts in thinking can cause emotional distress, anxiety and challenges in maintaining a positive view of life.
These are some of the other most common symptoms of BPD splitting behaviour:
Positive BPD Splitting:
- Seeing someone as flawless and perfect without any negative characteristics
- Being certain that a new acquaintance through brief interaction is your soulmate
- Ignoring the potential flaws in people
Negative BPD Splitting:
- Suddenly thinking that the person previously idealised is now evil or bad
- Feeling intense hostility and anger towards a partner, friend or family member due to a minor disagreement
- Shifting towards extreme hatred from extreme admiration in a short time
Difficulty Maintaining Relationships:
- Making fast shifts between intense love and hatred
- Avoiding or breaking up with a partner over a minor disagreement
Impulsive Behaviour:
- Performing impulsive actions like substance misuse, risky sexual behaviour or spending excessively based on the current emotional state
- Deciding to quit a job or quit school without taking into consideration the long-term consequences due to extreme emotional reactions
Fear of Abandonment
- Being afraid of being suddenly abandoned or rejected by others
- Feeling panic when a friend or partner decides to spend time with others
Difficulty with Ambiguity:
- Not being able to see the middle ground in various situations and seeing everything as entirely positive or entirely negative
How Long Does BPD Splitting Last?
The duration period of borderline personality disorder splitting varies and is individual for each person. The splitting episodes can be intense and brief, but they can last from a few minutes to more hours, even days. The length of the splitting episode depends on multiple factors, such as the individual’s emotional regulation skill or the triggers depending on the situation.
Some people with borderline personality disorder may experience rapid shifts between devaluation and idealisation, which can lead to brief but intense splitting episodes. In contrast, others may have persistent patterns of splitting, which can last for days or weeks due to ongoing triggers.
What Causes Splitting?
Medical professionals aren’t entirely sure of the causes of splitting, but evidence shows several risk factors contribute to splitting, such as:
- Family history
- Stress, trauma or childhood abuse
- Invalidating environment during early childhood
Although the exact cause of splitting behaviour remains unknown, it may also be a way of managing intense and conflicting emotions as a defense mechanism.
Impact on Relationships
BPD splitting is known to have a significant impact on relationships, whether those are romantic or non-romantic. The rapidly shifting views of people and situations that come with the splitting behaviors create challenges and difficulties in managing stable relationships.
Some of the ways BPD splitting impacts relationships include:
- Communication challenges: people with BPD often struggle to express their emotions in a balanced manner, which makes it challenging for the other person to understand and give an appropriate response
- Unstable relationships: the shifts in perspective lead to challenging relationships as friends, family members or partners find it difficult to predict the reactions and behaviours of the person with BPD
- Emotionally exhausted: the surrounding circle of people may experience emotional exhaustion due to the unpredictable nature of the BPD-splitting episodes
- Frequent breakups and reconciliations: most romantic relationships are affected by the shifts between devaluation and idealisation. This pattern can be challenging for both parties and lead to frequent breakups and reconciliations
- Low self-esteem: being subjected to the rapid shifts of perceptions can negatively impact one’s self-esteem as people with BPD splitting often question their own worth and identity
- Isolation: people with BPD splitting often feel alone and isolated and feel as if others around them do not understand their emotional pain
Splitting in borderline personality disorder usually reflects intense emotional challenges and requires acceptance, compassion and understanding. For people who experience BPD splitting, creating a caring and supportive environment plays a key role in the recovery process.
Coping Strategies
Coping strategies are helpful for people with borderline personality disorder in managing all of the challenges that come with splitting behaviours. These coping mechanisms can help navigate emotions and support stable and nurturing relationships.
Some of the coping strategies for people experiencing BPD splitting include:
- Practising mindfulness: Deep breathing, exercises, and meditation can help individuals remain present in the moment and help them reduce impulsive reactions as a defense mechanism
- Regulating emotions: learning to identify emotions and understand the triggers behind these responses can help people regulate their emotions more efficiently
- Engaging in opposite action: when intense emotions arise, acting opposite to these emotions can be helpful to lower emotions
- Challenge the black-and-white thinking: evaluating your thoughts, asking yourself questions, and answering based on evidence can help shift perspectives
- Communication: learning other ways of communicating to express your needs or boundaries can help you resolve conflicts in a balancer manned and reduce misunderstandings
- Journaling: keeping a journal with your thoughts and feelings can help you reflect on your emotions later and give you more information about the triggers and patterns
- Seek support: reaching out to friends, family, or therapists helps build a support system that can help you provide other perspectives and avoid making impulsive decisions
- Set healthy boundaries: healthy boundaries can prevent extreme idealisation or devaluation and create a stable foundation to develop relationships
- Professional help: consider talking to a mental health professional to learn other coping strategies that will be tailored to your unique needs
Adopting some of these coping strategies will take time, patience and practice. Being patient with yourself and acknowledging even the smallest progress can drastically improve one’s self-esteem and well-being.
BPD Support With Unique Community Services
People with borderline personality disorder can turn to Unique Community Services when battling with challenges. Our person-centred, professional and humanised support puts people at the heart of everything we do.
At Unique Community Services, we provide tailored, complex care to every individual, putting people’s emotional well-being at the centre of our focus. We embrace people’s differences and unique challenges, focusing on their strengths and abilities. Our incredible support workers create a person-centred care plan tailored to your needs.
Our offices are in Bristol, Manchester and Leeds, but you can contact us today from anywhere in the UK
